Drug Addiction and Stigma (+ my experiences with both)

Drug addiction is an illness, which can – often, but certainly not always – accompany other mental illnesses; particularly those mental health conditions associated with impulsivity, such as my own diagnosis of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

Drug addiction comes attached with its own batch of stigma; and, often, when a person is struggling with addiction, this can be perceived by others – particularly those who know of their addiction - as their one and only defining feature, for which they can be demonised for.

Common perception of a drug addict is that of that of a person whom is ‘immoral’ and 'a danger to society’; and, although, some may turn to crime to feed a habit, the image of the “immoral addict” is – in most cases – untrue, with its basis in prejudice.

Drug addiction is generally highly stigmatised due to the (mistaken) perception that, not only is an addict dangerous, but that they are the ones responsible for their problems - i.e. their addiction is self-inflicted.

But this stigmatisation is damaging; and, it is a large factor in contributing towards a person hiding their addiction, as well as keeping them in denial.

I’d like to take you back for a moment to FYM’s previous blog post in which I wrote about my most recent stay on a psychiatric ward, where I felt I’d been “over-medicated” and felt angry at the drug therapy I received whilst in hospital.

I didn’t, however, make it clear in my last blog post that this anger stemmed from my own ongoing struggles with drug addiction (and my addictions in general; self-harm included), and from my feelings that compliance with some of the (compulsory) medication is detrimental  to the likelihood of me making a successful recovery.

My appearance has become dishevelled of late, my skin is pale, and my eyes appear heavy; ongoing life-problems and mental health problems have taken their toll and it shows in my appearance.

Most of the prescribed medication makes my pupils dilate – so, although, it is apparent I am “on” a drug, it would be impossible to know which one - which sends out the image associated with the perception of the “immoral addict”, particularly to those who do not know me.  (The dilation of my pupils are due to compliance with medication; although, I have now requested to not be prescribed any addictive or dependency inducing drugs.)

However, this perceived image of me could not be further from the truth. And, the stigma displayed by strangers on the street – passers-by who pre-judge and making discriminatory comments – seems to be more persistent and is affecting me more than usual at this period when I am most sensitive.

Despite my ongoing struggles with addiction it is by no means a defining characteristic – everyday is a continuing battle with addiction, one in which I will persevere in fighting – but,  as I have written about previously on this blog, my illness does not define me.

Drug addiction is highly stigmatised due to a number of reasons, including, the taboos surrounding drugs and drug use, the perception that a drug addict is immoral, and the perception that a drug addict is responsible for their own plight.

But, like all stigma, the stigmatisation of drug addiction is damaging. Demonising a person purely on the basis of their illness seems thoughtless, and can cause hurt and pain to a person whom is already suffering.

Should interviewer have given Charlie Sheen "bipolar diagnosis"?

Recent events involving Charlie Sheen have really disturbed me - when I say this I am actually talking about not only the media treatment of his mental illness, but, more specifically, why anyone would ever think it is okay to "diagnose" someone during a televised interview!
(See Below)


In the above interview Sheen is being interviewed and asked questions about his drug addiction. At the end of the interview the interviewer tells him that "psychologists" say he has bipolar.

My thoughts on this are that I feel it is highly irresponsible to take someone you believe to be seriously mentally ill and having a manic episode, interview them purely for "entertainment" purposes (I honestly can't see any other reason to conduct an interview such as this), and then "diagnose" them at the end of it.

The interviewer also talks of "psychologists" coming up with a bipolar diagnosis. This doesn't sit right with me. I'd genuinely would like to know who these "psychologists" are?! Psychologists can't (or, at least, shouldn't!) diagnose anyone without a proper assessment. Personally (please tell me if you disagree) I think  that to reach a "conclusive" diagnosis several assessments have to take place over periods of months or years.

And surely if a psychologist had diagnosed Sheen why would they be giving this information to an interviewer, and not to him personally or to someone else close to him???

If I were in the above situation, chances are I would have said the same or similar as Sheen.

Speaking as a recovered drug-addict with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), whom has also experienced manic episodes, I can honestly say Sheen's behavior in the above interview is pretty "normal"  for anyone suffering a manic episode or a bipolar "high". Also, before I did finally get sober, if you'd asked me then if I got high or if I thought I might relapse I would have denied it whatever the circumstances were. And as for trying to make me see I was ill or getting me to understand I could die - if it was back then - you could forget it!

Obviously Sheen is mentally ill - drug-addiction is in itself a mental illness - and he does appear to be on a manic bipolar high. But my big issue (the subject of this post) is with the irresponsibility of conducting the above interview and then claiming to have a diagnosis. As I said before, even if a trained psychologist/psychiatrist had been saying the same as this interviewer to me when I was manic and on drugs, it would have gone in one ear and out the other; therefore, I know if I were in the above situation, not only would the interview have pushed me further into denial but it would also have messed my head quite a bit. ((For example; a few years ago, whilst I was suffering a manic episode, my parents were asked to  keep notes on my behavior, and when I found these notes I was convinced my behavior was being recorded so that they could report back to the "government" whom I believed were studying me as part of a large-scale "experiment" that everyone else in the world was in on.))

Whatever you think of Sheen - it's not nice to see anyone suffer in this way.

I'm writing this after taking issue with what I believe to be a irresponsible way of treating someone with a mental illness. I could speculate Sheen's diagnosis - but I don't see the point. Or I could discuss the fact that anyone else (i.e. someone who isn't a Hollywood actor) is likely to have been sectioned by now - but I don't feel I could add anything to the discussion which hasn't been said before.

After watching the above interview, I strongly felt a need to express my thoughts on this. What do you think? Have I got a point? Or do you feel I'm going over-the-top?

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline personality disorder (BDP) is the mental illness I personally have been diagnosed with when I was 18 (this is the age from which one can be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder). Before doing research for this blog post I was unsure of quite exactly what my diagnosis meant. In my last post (read here) I wrote about the importance of understanding mental illness, and Free Your Mind is all about enlightening yourself to help in the battle against stigma towards mental health disorders, so I would be contradicting myself anyway if I did not learn more about my own diagnosis.

This is what I found.

The primary feature of borderline personality disorder is an extensive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions. Those diagnosed with BPD are also prone to being very impulsive. This disorder is one that occurs in most by the time they reach early adulthood.

Impulsive behaviours are highlighted, in what I have found, as a main feature of borderline personality disorder. As I investigate further I will explain how I relate to these behaviours.

Someone diagnosed with this disorder will also have most of the following symptoms:

• Frantically trying to avoid real or imagined abandonment
• A pattern of unstable and interpersonal relationships; which is characterised by alternating between extremes of idealising the situation and devaluing it, and feeling unworthy of love
• Significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
• Impulsivity; normally in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., sex, substance abuse, spending, binge eating).

I just want to stop listing symptoms for a moment to talk about my experiences with borderline personality disorder and the impulsive behaviours related to it. The two areas I experience impulsive behaviours in most are sex and substance abuse. A few years ago I was in a relationship with a drug addict who also used to sell the stuff, he got me into taking crack and cocaine - which with my impulsive behaviour wasn't hard - and I am not proud to say this but that soon became my main reason for being with him. (However, I did finally pick up my self-respect and ditch him.) My impulses led me to stay in a destructive relationship where I devalued myself to stay with someone for shallow reasons, although he was no saint either, he was abusive and manipulative, which just adds to show the danger the impulsive behaviours of BPD have gotten me into.

Added to the above, my experiences with impulsive behaviours include getting into other kinds of trouble. Unfortunately, at the end of last year, I was raped due to leaving my keys in my front door whilst asleep at night; how this links to impulsivity is that it was from these behaviours that this situation transpired. Almost a whole year before this incident, I had been drinking alcohol (I no longer drink) and decided to go shopping at night, I walked to the bus stop and got talking to two men I met there.I stupidly asked them to come back to my flat, where I decided I liked one but not the other. The one I wasn't interested in left, and I don't think I need to go into detail about what happened next. Almost a year later, the man I had turned down tuned up at my flat, demanding to be let in, I said no and called the police. The next time he came by, I was asleep in bed and had left my keys in the front door.

I'm sharing my experience with you purely to show how I relate to my research. If you do choose to form a negative opinion of me, that's fine, you're perfectly entitled to your own opinion. I just prefer being open and honest.

Back to the list:

• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behaviour
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling temper
• Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or sever dissociative symptoms
• Emotional instability, which is due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., irritability, anxiety, or intense episodic dysphoria, which usually lasts a few hours and very rarely a few days).

Personally, I can relate to all of the symptoms listed above. I know how frustrating it is to be in a constant flux of emotions My disorder has hindered me from doing things when I wan to do them, such as university and furthering my career, due to hospitalisation, etc. But I'm determined not to give up.

Of course, I have barely scratched the tip of the iceberg in this post, but as I delved into my research I wanted  to at least write about how I relate to what I had found about the main symptoms of borderline personality disorder. I hope to explore this particular mental illness further in future posts.

As always, your comments are more than welcome. If you have anything to add to what I have said and/or an opinion on it, please do share!

Update!
New Posts! April 2012 - posted new blog posts on the subject of borderline personality disorder and other personality disorders.

Understanding BPD and other Personality Disorders (Part-One) ~ 12/04/2012

Understanding BPD and other Personality Disorders (Part-Two) ~ 27/04/2012

Alcohol Addiction as Mental Illness (renamed post)

What leads to alcohol addiction? A number of reasons can lead to alcohol abuse; mental illness (although alcoholism is a mental disorder in itself), or a long stressful period, or distressing traumatic event. Alcoholism is a habitual disease, meaning that one gets into drinking as a habit which can be triggered for some reason and the person uses alcohol to feel better and eventually they become reliant on drink. Remember, alcoholism is a mental illness.

Alcohol is a legal drug, so it is easy to get hold of, which means it is more likely for someone to misuse this substance. Alcohol is a downer and, contrary to popular belief, it does not make you happy and giggly - in fact, quite the opposite. Admittedly, it may have this effect at the beginning, but alcohol is also well-known for bringing people down, making them angry or cry.

Believe me my intention is not to lecture anyone! I just hope to answer questions you or anyone may have about alcohol abuse.

I believe, from my observation, is that there appear to be two main types of alcoholics: "functioning alcoholics" and  "full-time alcoholics." Functioning alcoholics are called so because they appear to function well, they can work without drinking and perform many other important daily activities in which they cannot drink without drinking. However, when they do drink, which will still be every day, normally at least 4 or 5 times of the amount of their Guideline Daily Amount. Full-time alcoholics are called so because they will drink from the moment they wake-up to the moment they go to sleep. These people will often suffer from alcoholic fits if they go without a drink for a much longer time than usual.

Dealing with alcoholism is hard on both the sufferer and the people around them. Alcohol addiction is a mental illness, but it is one you can come back from. Help can be obtained from a number of places, including your GP, and as a friend or relative of someone suffering from alcohol addiction you  can help by trying to understand them, and being there for them letting them know how much you care.

Misuse of alcohol can lead to dependency, especially if you already suffer from a mental illness. Trying to understand someone with alcoholism can be difficult, particularly if that person is drunk and angry. But, if you care for that person, your help and support is what they need to beat their addiction.

The above is based on my own experiences and observations of alcoholism. I would love to know what you thought about what I've written in my post and I would also love to know what you think about alcoholism as a mental illness.